♫
It kinda feel's strange.
I mean it's not the first time y'know?
I've been completely abandoned like this before, so you'd think I'd have gotten use to it, and be completely over it by now. And yet I am and I'm not... I feel complete apathy towards him most of the time, but then every now and again I just completely let myself get pulled in again...
And then I try to move on and I think I am.
But then I notice something...
I don't feel anything. Barely a tingle. I mean, I try so hard to feel something, but I'm barely phased. It's like nothing could possibly compare to the beautiful disaster I just went through.
If you think of it like a natural disaster, it's like being hit by a tsunami. You're completely and utterly devastated. And then you're hit by a normal-sized wave, but you barely notice because you're too busy dealing with the aftermath of what came before it.
So... is that my problem?
Am I too busy dealing with all my emotional debris?
Or am I turning into stone?
A lot of people have been telling me these past few weeks that I've become a lot more mature. So is that what growing up entails? For us to become adults to we have to lose our emotions and become harder? Because it makes sense. I mean, we feel all this emotion as teenagers, and then adults go to us and say "you're too young to understand your feelings". But is it just me or do they really mean "You're too young and have too many feelings".
Cause after all I've been through, whether I'm a drama queen or not, I really think I'm losing my emotion. I mean I've been feeling less depressed lately, which is a good thing, but at the same time, I haven't felt ecstatically happy or completely lovestruck in absolutely ages.
Maybe I'm just growing up.
♫
It kinda feel's strange.
I mean it's not the first time y'know?
I've been completely abandoned like this before, so you'd think I'd have gotten use to it, and be completely over it by now. And yet I am and I'm not... I feel complete apathy towards him most of the time, but then every now and again I just completely let myself get pulled in again...
And then I try to move on and I think I am.
But then I notice something...
I don't feel anything. Barely a tingle. I mean, I try so hard to feel something, but I'm barely phased. It's like nothing could possibly compare to the beautiful disaster I just went through.
If you think of it like a natural disaster, it's like being hit by a tsunami. You're completely and utterly devastated. And then you're hit by a normal-sized wave, but you barely notice because you're too busy dealing with the aftermath of what came before it.
So... is that my problem?
Am I too busy dealing with all my emotional debris?
Or am I turning into stone?
A lot of people have been telling me these past few weeks that I've become a lot more mature. So is that what growing up entails? For us to become adults to we have to lose our emotions and become harder? Because it makes sense. I mean, we feel all this emotion as teenagers, and then adults go to us and say "you're too young to understand your feelings". But is it just me or do they really mean "You're too young and have too many feelings".
Cause after all I've been through, whether I'm a drama queen or not, I really think I'm losing my emotion. I mean I've been feeling less depressed lately, which is a good thing, but at the same time, I haven't felt ecstatically happy or completely lovestruck in absolutely ages.
Maybe I'm just growing up.
♫
1 comment:
What they mean when they say "you're too young to understand your feelings" is "you're too young to be able to deal with them properly."
Which is why people like me have had to grow up really quickly.
So yeah, maybe you are just growing up... maybe things are just getting that bit easier to deal with. You know what they say, first cut is the deepest and all that.
Anyway, if you wanna talk, I'm here for you, yeah?
You've been good to me, so the least I can do is try and help ^_^
xxxxx
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